This week, we’re taking a break from our regularly scheduled programming to present matchmaker Laura N.’s take on last week’s still-buzzing Bachelor finale.

Hi, my name is Laura and I am a Bachelor addict.

Allow me to preface all this by saying that I’m well read, can solve a math problem, and know some big words. However, when it comes to my tastes in television, I like my reality series nice and juicy, with a side of drama thrown in for good measure.

Last Monday marked the finale of ABC’s The Bachelor, and this season did not disappoint. “Crazy Courtney” has been a producer’s dream with her model good looks and manipulative personality. She managed to alienate and insult nearly every single one of her fellow contestants, ultimately resulting in her antics being reported to Bachelor Ben. Ben was visually annoyed by the tattletale bachelorettes, and their outburst of “honesty” ultimately led to their demise, as each were dismissed at the following rose ceremonies. To Ben’s credit he did discuss his concerns with Courtney, but her tactics and drop dead looks won her the final rose in the end.

My panel of experts (i.e. me, my mom, and guyfriend Yuri) have been glued to every episode and were not surprised by this, because of one very important attribute that Courtney has – confidence. She never let on that she was jealous of the other women. She always kept up the veil and presented a playful exterior. The stress of the show definitely wore on her, and she revealed her insecurities in private interviews, but her behavior toward Ben was more petulant than needy. Ben reported that he felt challenged by her and in my opinion, intrigued. Hmmmm.

While I am not a fan of Courtney’s behavior and personality, I can see how her personality could be more attractive than the other contestants. Confidence is contagious and people want to hang around people who have it. Unfortunately, Courtney didn’t realized that she could have charmed the women and still won the heart of Ben. Being unkind, petty, and cocky is not pretty and not how someone truly comfortable in their own skin should behave.

Let this be a lessson to everyone out there, dating or not! Confidence is king (or queen). We have all witnessed smart and confident men and women become insecure freaks in the dating arena. My panel of experts and I have come up with a confidence strategy when dating. These tips are great for any occasion when you are meeting new people, both in a group setting or one-to-one.

1. Walk with your eyes and head up. Not only do you look confident, but you will feel more confident in this stance.
2. Remember your manners. Look people in the eye, say please and thank you, be nice to everyone around you especially staff/servers.
3. Assume that people like you. Why wouldn’t they?
4. When paid a compliment smiles and say “thank you”, it’s meant to be accepted not proved wrong.
5. Be positive, roll with the punches and keep complaints to a minimum
6. Smile – it does amazing things for your face and will make others at ease

Pretty simple stuff, really.  The key is that these actions will not only make you appear stronger, bolder and more attractive, but also make you feel more confident on the inside.

Feeling a boost already?  Check out Laura’s profile to read her story and see the other amazing advice she has to offer!

Why did you decide to join myMatchmaker?

Having spent the past five years working with singles, couples, and families of all ages and backgrounds, my passion and goal is to help others find their true love while being fabulously in love with their lives and themselves! I’ve set up people that are still in happy and committed marriages/long-term relationships to this day, and I think myMatchmaker is an amazing platform to help even more singles find their matches.

Tell us about your favorite match before joining the site.

After I started getting results on my own, my friends saw I was onto something.  They started jokingly calling me the Love Coach, as I was setting them up on dates and helping them solve their dating dilemmas.  I am so happy to say that one couple has been in a serious relationship for the past 3 years and the other couple got married and they just had a beautiful baby girl!

Biggest first date turn-off?

My biggest first date turn-off is when the man does not act like a gentleman. A woman feels most comfortable on a date when she knows that the man is showing genuine interest and concern for her as a person while making the effort to show that he is attracted to her and wants to win her over. Small things like planning the date, giving compliments, opening the door, paying for the date, and setting up the next date goes a LONG way in getting a woman’s attention!

Finally, the age-old question – how long should someone wait to call again after the first date?

For our the inaugural Matchmaker Monday, we’re thrilled to introduce Linda S.!

 Linda S., Matchmaker

Why did you decide to join myMatchmaker?

I think it’s a great approach – I’ve tried online dating before, and each service said they would pick people that were right for me, but it just wasn’t true! I knew there had to be a better way to connect people with shared interest and values and beliefs online, and I think myMatchmaker is exactly what I was looking for.

Tell us about your favorite match before joining the site

When two people are right for each other, I get a funny feeling inside and I had that feeling when my roommate met my old boyfriend (we had a very nice break-up) and I knew the two of them should be together! I set them up on a date and they will be celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary soon! I’ve learned to trust that funny feeling!

What’s your biggest profile pet-peeve?

When you start to communicate with a potential new date and they bring up sex too early. It’s definitely an important part of a relationship, but it is not the only thing that matters to me…especially when you are just getting to know someone.

What do your friends say when you tell them you’re a matchmaker?

They think it makes sense since I’m often suggesting people for them to go out with!

Biggest first date turn-off?

Talking about exes and past relationships! Nobody wants to discuss your past on the first date. If that’s the only topic you can come up with then perhaps you need a dating detox. It’s time to stop talking about the past and start LIVING in the present!

Not surprisingly, their findings focus on the flaws of the “online” portion of the equation, and how difficult it is to predict and create human matches based on purely digital interactions.  Simply put, no matter how far technology has come, the internet doesn’t decide who you’re going to fall in love with – you do.

Study co-authors Eli J. Finkel and Benjamin R. Karney weigh in in a recent New York Times article:

Because they gather data from singles who have never met, [online dating] sites have no way of knowing how two people will interact once they have been matched. Yet our review of the literature reveals that aspects of relationships that emerge only after two people meet and get to know each other — things like communication patterns, problem-solving tendencies and sexual compatibility — are crucial for predicting the success or failure of relationships.

So why exactly are we so pleased to hear this?  It’s simple – we’ve doubted the value of algorithm-based matching for a long time, and that’s exactly where the idea for myMatchmaker came from.   We’ve long felt that computers can’t capture our most important qualities, and honestly, sometimes we can’t even figure ourselves out. Oftentimes, it’s those who know us best that can “read” things about us, helping to find a truly compatible match.  It almost makes you wonder if they should be filling out your online profile.

Of course, we agree with Dr. Finkel & co. that it takes an in-person meeting to really gauge long-term compatibility, but let’s not write off online communities entirely here.  It’s that first step in meeting someone that’s the hardest, and by bringing in real human matchmakers, we’re well on our way to fixing this problem.  And hey, it doesn’t take five scientists to tell you that.

New York Times: Online Dating Sites Don’t Match Hype

Check it out: Because dating sites suck, this startup finds you love like in that movie Hitch

Edit:  We’re apparently also a hit over on the Spanish blogosphere, as seen here on wwwhatsnew.com

NYTM is the premier event for technologists in New York, offering 9-10 of the hottest local startups a chance to share their vision with 800+ tech professionals at each monthly meeting. The team behind NYTM has creating an amazingly supportive environment for growing companies to share and learn, and we’re excited to be presenting alongside several really innovative startups at February’s event.

With Valentines Day right around the corner, the timing couldn’t be better, and we’ve planned an action-packed demo that captures what myMatchmaker’s site and community are all about. We may even have a surprise up our sleeves, so stay tuned!

For anyone interested in attending or watching the demos, you can find details at the link below. Tickets sell out early, but they’ve recently introduced new livestream options to watch the event remotely.

See you on Febuary 8th!

http://www.meetup.com/ny-tech/

We’re really excited to be building the first online dating site to harness the power of real-life matchmakers, so check back soon to stay current on what we’re up to.

We have big plans for the blog, including matchmaker profiles, dating and relationship tips, and of course, regular progress updates as we continue to grow the community and site.

In the meantime, follow us on facebook and twitter to join in the conversation.

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